FIRE JOE MORGAN

Joe pulls me back in.

Joe Morgan: I see where the Mets fired Randolph, I guess that's the end of the soap opera. Let's see how the players respond.

"I see where the Mets fired Randolph?" Like...you just read about it, right this second?

Brian (San Francisco, CA): The Angels are 14 games over .500 but they have scored just one more run than they have allowed this season. Do you think they are the most lucky, overrated team in the league? Or are they just consistently clutch in close games?

Excellent JoeBaiting. You're at the top of the JoeBaiting game. I am just lucky to watch these guys JoeBait.

Joe Morgan: I think last year the D-Backs had a same situation and they won their division. Their pitching is good and once they get the lead they keep it. I don't think their lucky. [...]

First of all, [sic] on "their," and also (shame on you). I don't demand that everyone be a member of the Militant Grammarians of Massachusetts, but can we all as a nation work a little harder to get fucking "they're/their/there" right? It's not hard, people. Do it for the children.

Second of all: here's the thing, though, man -- they are lucky. By definition, they are lucky. We're like halfway through the year, about, so if they have a dead even RS/RA and are 14 games over .500, they are probably getting pretty lucky. Yes, yes -- not the biggest sample size, and the team has good pitching, but 14 games over your pyth* at this point? That's luck, to some degree, and it will probably even out a little going forward.

Matt Stuart, FL: What was your most memorable game and hit

Joe Morgan: I played in a lot of great situations so it's hard to answer. But the game winning hit in the 1975 World Series and my first ever major league hit stands out.

Those two things stands out for you? Those two moments are the ones that stands out?

I'm ornery. I think it was watching Spain and Italy flop around all night while the far-more-fun Dutch were drinking Grolsch Oud Bruin on their plane back to Amsterdam and the English team stubbornly continued to not have qualified.

JB (Wash DC): What is your opinion on replay? I am okay with HR calls if handled in a timely manner, but am worried that this could lead to foul line calls or tag plays at the plate some day, and wouldn't that really be a shame for the game?!

Joe Morgan: They are assuming that the only game changing play in the HR. [...]

[sic] again, and also, no theeyir not. Threiyr trying to comfort old angry traditionalists like you by easing the system into play gradually, the way you keep a goldfish inside the plastic bag and drop the whole bag into his new bowl so that the water temperatures can slowly merge. Because God forbid we should have a simple, quick, easy-to-use technology that could prevent the vicissitudes of well-intentioned human observation from creating horrifying sporting injustices.

Ten Kremen (Dous, Neb.): Hey Joe!

Flattering. Also: the worst fake name in history. Truly, wonderfully awful. I applaud you. I would have gone with "Neutered Monks." "Drunken Emotes" and "Undermost Knee" aren't bad.

Love your analysis on Sunday Nights. I was just wondering how much you think Gary Sheffield's expected return will help the Tigers.

Man. You're just running right at it, JoeBait-wise, aren't you, there, Ten.

Joe Morgan: The Tigers are starting to play well, but I believe that Sheffield's presence on the field will upliftthe team.

Predictable.

Dan (Long Island, NY): Hey Joe, obviously the big headline is Willie Randolph being fired. Why have the Mets handled this whole situation poorly? They waited way too long to pull the trigger and when they finally follow through with this, they make the decision at 3:14 AM? Shed some light on this for us.

Joe Morgan: I gree that they didn't handle the situation well. I don't understand their thinking and to do it after a win, I just don't get it.

I gree, too, man. Weird. Although, perhaps I'm crazy, but maybe they weren't thinking that they would fire him based on that night's game's outcome. Maybe -- and I could be wrong -- they had made up their mind already, based on his entire run as manager, and the outcome of that particular game was irrelevant.

The Mets' owners are doofuses, and the 3 AM press release was bizarre, but let's just all take a step back and remember the 7 game lead with 17 to play, as well as the $780m payroll and the .500 record.

Andrew from Bloomington, IL: Yo, Joe: how do you think the starting pitching woes of the Reds affects the team's consistency? Is their pitching too young to be consistent enough to maintain any sustained success?

Consistent JoeBaiting from Andrew. Is there anyone in these chats who unironically wants an answer from Joe Morgan?

Joe Morgan: They have some young pitchers that have pitched well. If they can add Homer to the list of pitchers who can step up, then they will be good, The Reds have a shot at being a good team.

If you asked Joe if the man's name is Homer Bailey or Bailey Homer...he would have a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly.

brian (Normal IL): Ryan Howard has had many highs and lows. What can he do to improve his consistency?

Seriously. Anyone? Anyone at all actually want an answer from this man?

Joe Morgan: That has to come from Ryan Howard. He has to figure out why he has been so inconsistent. He has to stay away from over swinging and swinging and bad pitches. They may not be the only answer. He has to figure it out for himself, it's not something that somebody can tell you.

Ryan Howard has a miserable April, an awesome May, and is having an "eh" June. He also has 19 HR. I'll take my chances, if I'm the Phillies, that he consistently consistenifies himself consistently over the next few consistences (months). He's 28 and has a .972 career OPS. He's awesome. Everything is going to be fine.

Michael (MA): Joe, it sure seems like they are fewer great players than there were not too long ago, but do you agree that there aren't any consistently great teams like there were when you played?

This is insane. There is not one person in this chat who just wants to ask Joe a question. Why do these even exist?

Joe Morgan: Let's not talk about when I played.

KT: [has disbelief-induced heart attack]

I thought the Red Sox could be a great team this year, but they haven't played great on the road. To be great, you have to win at home as well as at home. Boston is the only team that I can see being a great team once they start winning on the road.

...Why can't you see the Cubs being great, if you're allowed to imagine what it will be like when [Team X] "starts winning on the road?" The Cubs are 20 games over .500 and are plus-112 in runs scored. So, even though thzeyir 16-20 on the road...if they started winning on the road...they'd be "great," no?

Corey (Philadelphia, PA): Joe: Who is the one player in the game today that you would say is most comparable to how you played the game?

Joe Morgan: That's hard. It was a different game when I played, so I can't really come up with one person. But their are a lot of really good second basemen playing the game at this time.

[sic] again, obviously, on "their," but also: what is going on here, I wonder? Is he just too self-aggrandizing to name one person who is even remotely close to in his league? Can he not pull Chase Utley's name (or Uggla's, or Cano's [!]) out of his hat? Can't he just name his favorite player? Beltran? Sheffeld? Hanley Ramirez? Dustin Pedroia? Joe Sambito? Anyone?

For like three years now I've been needlessly and fruitlessly pointing out how often Joe Morgan just flat refuses to answer a question posed to him through an on-line question-and-answer forum that he at some point in his life clearly agreed to participate in and yet seems to resist with every fiber of his being. Now he is literally asked, "Which player is most like you?" and he doesn't even give a name.

These chats are officially pointless, in the most hard-core existentialist way.

chad rochester ny : joe, do u think the yanks can pull it out and make the playoffs without wang, and if so who do u think will step up

Joe Morgan: Before Wong got hurt,

Really?

The guy's name was spelled correctly in the line right above where you typed that.

Also, you don't just know his name? You're a premiere baseball analyst and you have broadcast 20000 Yankees games and he's the best pitcher on their team, and you don't know how to spell his 4-letter last name?

Really?

Really.

Okay. Keep going.

I did believe that they Yanks could make the playoffs. Without him, I don't know if the Yanks can win the AL East. I don't know who can step up, because if they haven't done it already, I don't know if they ever will.

Andy Pettitte has thrown like 17 consecutive scoreless innings. Mussina is winning games like it's 1995. Someone named Dan Giese, which is uncomfortably close to Don Geiss, just won the other day. Seems like dudes are stepping up, you drama queen.

Bryan (bloomington IL): Joe congrats on the doctorate. You have been role model of consistency for years. Who do you like to come out of the NL?

Not. One. Sincere. Chatter.

Joe Morgan: Thank you. I think the Cubs are the best team in the NL. [...]

What told you that? Their best-in-baseball record? Or their best-in-baseball run differential? Or, like, women's intuition?

Julio (Santo Domingo, DR): Hi Joe. What´s your take about Chipper Jones chase to .400? It seem pretty remarkable, after all the injuries that he has had and doing it past his prime.

We literally have to leave the country to find a person who sincerely wants to chat with this man.

Joe Morgan: I think it's great. Being a switch hitter gives him an edge. I think he's doing this late because he's a smarter hitter. As you get older you learn more and he has learned more about his swing and it has made him a better hitter.

Or: it's a little bit of a statistical fluke for a great hitter after a half-season of a .400 BABIP.

But, no, you're right, it's probably that he's old. That makes CrazySense™.

Joe (NYC): Hi Joe, What do you think will happen with CC? Do you think Cash will pull the trigger (and at what cost) after passing on Johan?

Joe Morgan: He starting to pitch well but I think he will test the free agent market. The Yanks are looking for a starter and I think that would be a good fit for him. I don't think he will stay with the Tribe.

Anyone want to point out that the question is about a mid-season deal, and not an off-season signing? No? We should just limp to the finish line and not question why anyone in the world continues with the charade that these chats are informative or helpful in any way? Cool with me.

Matt (FL): What is your take on the Rays/Cubs series? In my opinion the pitching matchups look extremely slanted with the Rays have a big edge in game 1 and 3 with the Cubs having the edge in game 2.

Bet now on whether Joe makes any kind of specific reference to the Cubs-Rays series. Keep in mind, when you bet, that if you say "Yes, he will make specific reference to some aspect of the Cubs-Rays series" that you are betting on the idea that (a) he knew they were playing and (b) looked at a computer or something to get information on the series and (c) remembered the information and (d) knew who the Rays are and (e) knows what baseball is.

Odds on Joe making specific reference to any aspect of the Cubs-Rays series: 1 in 2.8 sesquicentillion.

Place your bets.

Betting is about to close.

Betting is closed.

Joe Morgan: I think it will be a great series for the Rays to see where they are. They will be able to gage themselves by playing the best team in the NL.

Everyone, somehow, is a loser.

JBloom (Plevna, Kansas): Joe, My brother Leo and I have agreed to let you settle our argument! He thinks if the Reds are going to play for next year they should trade Griffey. But I say they should trade Dunn! He strikeout too much, chokes the bases and Griffey would be a good influence teaching the young guys like Bruce how to grind out a game. But what do you think?

Nearly 100% JoeBaiter turnout. Good work, everyone.

Joe Morgan: How about both? (laughing)

Okay. Hang on.

This freaks my bean a little.

Who typed that? Who typed that he is laughing? Do interns actually do these chats? Who's at the keyboard?

...Fremp?

I'm not naive. I always considered the possibility that Joe doesn't actually type these chats. It's just that the goofiness of the answers and the carelessness of the word processing seemed so sympatico. This is just odd.

Anyway. If there has been some Frempish figure hacking away all these years -- and distorting your words, Joe -- I apologize for this whole site. If there's someone typing and not distorting your words, I apologize for only the parts where I make fun of your typing. And if you are typing and you wrote: (laughing) as you started laughing at your own joke, I apologize for nothing, and you should seek counseling.

That's a hard argument to settle. The question is if Griffey is in a slump or if he in on the decline. With Dunn, what you see is what you get with him. Does he do enough to help the team win a championship?

I'm going to go ahead and suggest that Griffey, who is 38, is "in decline" instead of "slumping." Now, he had an .868 OPS last year, so even in decline he will probably be pretty good for a while. But Adam Dunn is 28 and has hit 40+ HR four years in a row. Is that "enough" for you, Joe? Is it? Answer me, damnit!!!! (sobs)

Joe Morgan: Thanks for hte chat. Looking forward to doing the Cub/White Sox, the inner city battle and who knows what Ozzie Guillen will say between now and then.

[sic]

Labels: bill fremp, crazysense™, infinite jest, joe morgan, joechat

...charge.

Joe Morgan: As soon as we think we have sports figured out,

No right-minded person ever thinks this.

things seem to go awry. Everyone thought Big Brown would win easily, everyone thought the Lakers would win easily,

The Celtics had home court advantage.

and everyone thought the Tigers would win easily. None of that has happened, and it makes for an interesting sports climate. That said, I still don't know which team will be in the World Series.

Real quick:

1. There are two teams in the World Series.
2. Read your first sentence and your last sentence together, and see if it makes sense. "As soon as we think we have sports figured out, things seem to go awry. That said, I still don't know which team will be in the World Series."

Or: "Sports are unpredictable. That said, the end result of this sports season is unpredictable."

Off to an A+ start.

Danny (NY): Hi Joe, lots of writers and reporters are suggesting that griffey would be at 700 homers if he stayed healthy. don't you find this "math" kind of ridiculous?

JoeBait? If so, well done.

Joe Morgan: No, Griffey has missed a lot of time--close to three or four full seasons. I think it's possible that he could be close to 700 without injuries, but that is just speculation. You never know what a guy can do. But using his home runs per at-bat ratio, it'd probably have him close to 700.

Can't predict / Predicts it then announces it's just a prediction / Can't predict / Uses math to predict it.

Joe Morgan: But it's always hard to speculate on what someone would or would not do.

For the millionth time: we know. You're an expert. We're asking your opinion. No need for the qualification.

Imagine if every expert in every field operated this way.

"Here's Storm Cloudman with the weather. Storm? What can we expect this weekend?"

"Well, Rich, I simply do not know. I mean, I could guess, but what would be the point? It's impossible to tell. Too early. Anything could happen. Who can say, really? There will be weather of some kind -- that's a given. But I can't really speculate."

"Thanks. Say, is Storm Cloudman your real name?"

"No. My real name is Coriolis Effect von Thunderbolt."

Lee (NYC): Joe, thanks for taking my question. I am a Yankee fan but I have always been a huge Willie Randolph fan. I feel that Willie Randolph has nothing to do with the mess the Mets are in. Shouldn't Omar Minaya take most of the blame? He put this team together.

Joe Morgan: He has to take his share of the blame for putting the team together, but the manager usually takes the blame first. If Willie is fired, the focus will go to the GM. If he stays, the focus will stay on him. But it would be that way in other cities too. The Mariners are way under .500, for instance, but no one is criticizing the GM, they're looking at the manager.

Hear that, recently-fired Bill Bavasi? No one blames you.

Joe Wheaton, IL: With the AL Central being weak this year do you feel the sox can run away with it? and what mid season move do you feel would help the sox take that next step to finish off min,clev,det and kc?

Joe Morgan: I've felt that the Sox could win the division, although they will not run away with it. They will go through spells where they cannot hit at all. They have good pitching, but without a well-rounded total attack, you can't run away with a division. That said, I don't know who will get hot and chase them.

"That Said" should be the title of Joe's autobiography.


Keith (Miami): Can you see the Marlins making any moves, maybe for a pitcher near the deadline if they continue to stay in it?

Joe Morgan: We don't know...We will just have to wait and see...

Kyle (PA): Joe, does Gary Sheffield hit the hardest line drives you've ever seen?

Joe Morgan: Probably.

(See this, if you don't know the JoeBait backstory here.)

And for the finale:

Joe Morgan: Everything else is up for grabs. That said, so many things can change by September.

JoeChat Advisory:

These haven't been that fun lately, frankly. They have their share of "consistently"s and "Sheffield"s and stuff, but in general, whether it's Bill Fremp or Joe getting better or something, the answers aren't that crazy and the jokes are starting to feel the same. So, this may be the last full JoeChat for a while. I may start just picking out individual moments or something...whatever. We'll play it by ear. It's a blog, after all, so we'll wing it.

That said, this could all change tomorrow.

Labels: bill fremp, Coriolis Effect von Thunderbolt, joe morgan, joechat

RetroChat!

SprungOnSports (Long Island): Joe, can the Yankees be salvaged and play consistently enough to get back into the playoff hunt?

KT: I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but SprungOnSports (Long Island) is always the first one in the pool and the last to leave at these JoeChats. What gives, SprungOnSports (Long Island)? Why so eager to not have your questions answered?

Joe Morgan: If you take the reputations away of all the All-Star players and the big salaries, and you just look at them objectively, you would not be that impressed.

...Wha? What happened to "Well they're still the Yankees...", which is how you always answer this question? Fremp? Is that you, Fremp?

I think they are in trouble. They will be better with A-Rod back, who carried them through the first month last year, so he may be able to do that again. But you have to be concerned about their starting pitching. I just do not think they can win consistently with the pitching they are throwing out there.

Oh brother. Fremp Controversy II? (Except for the use of "consistently.")

Rob (Baltimore): Joe, is a team playing better baseball than the Cubs right now? Are they now a serious threat to win the WS?

Joe Morgan: Any team that gets into the postseason can win it all, if they get on a hot streak. We have seen it happen plenty of times. There are no great teams anymore. Boston is the best team overall. And I think the Cubs will make the playoffs, so I think they have a chance.

Crisis averted. No great teams. Music to my ears. Fremp-proof evidence.

Terrence (NYC): After this weekend's series, I'm hoping Jose Reyes is starting to take off- not only did it look like he was having fun, but he seemed a little angry as he was doign good things- almost like he's playing with a chip on his shoulder about the media and fan criticism. Do you agree?

Joe Morgan: Well I think that too much blame is put on Reyes when the Mets struggle. Yes, Reyes struggled last season down the stretch, but I think too much pressure is put on him.

I don't know, man. He's the SS and leadoff hitter for the Mets. He hit .205/.279/.333 in 117 September AB last year, and was 5-9 in SB after being 23-26 in August. His team collapsed horribly. He certainly wasn't the only one to stink it up, but when you're the leadoff hitter and SS and you stink it up in September and your team collapses horribly, you're going to take that hit. Hell, David Wright took a hit, too, and he OPSed like a billion. (I haven't checked that specifically, but I'm pretty sure it was like a billion.)

So he should be playing with a chip on his shoulder, with everything that has but put on him, especially last season's collpase. I am a big fan of his and I hope that he continues to play well.

Coddler.

Rich (Sun Valley, ID): Joe, have you ever seen a team leave as many men on base as the Cardinals in the last week?

He has no idea what you're talking about, Rich. He hasn't seen the Cardinals play this year. I guarantee you get nothing specific here.

And when is the last time you saw a team get 18 hits (the Rays) and lose? Thanks-

He has never seen that. He doesn't watch baseball. You get no answer here. KT guarantee.

Joe Morgan: Those things happen; where you get a lot of guys on base, and you do not drive them in, the pressure builds and you get tight. It happens, and it happens as a team. Just like hitting in contagious, so is leaving men on base. I have seen plenty of games where teams just cannot seem to drive ina run.

As Nikki Finke would say: toldja!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jon (Mad-town): Will we ever see a a great/dominant team again? I think the D-backs have something in the works for the next decade.

Joe Morgan: Yeah I think we will see dominant teams again. When scientists build a time machine and we can go back to Cincinnati in 1975, assholes.

Just kidding. He didn't write that second part. But how awesome would it have been if he had?

These things happen in cycles. But it has to be a team that has strengths in all areas of the game.

Hang on...this theoretically "dominant" team has to have strengths in all areas of the game? I don't understand.

I think the D-backs, because they are young and can develop, could be great for a very long period of time.

Name three Diamondbacks. (And Randy Johnson doesn't count, because you'd only be naming him because you remember he was on the team in 2001 and don't know that he's been traded like five times since then.)

Kevin STL: Joe, after that fiasco with Delgado's HR being called back, do you think the need for Instant Replay is upon us? Seems as though you and J Miller already knew the ball was fair before they overrode the call because of the replay.

Joe Morgan: Well I knew it was fair before the replay, because I had a good angle. I dfo not think you can have replays, because you would use it too much.

No you wouldn't, if the league regulated how often you could use it. We're very early in this debate, and we already have our "Why does everyone ignore this basic and simple fact?" thing.

There has been talk on using it for HR in the 8th or 9th inning, but that is not fair because often the winning HRs are hit earlier in the game. Replay would slow the game down more, so I think we will just have to live with the decisions of the umpires.

A few intrepid emailers have pointed out: when a controversial HR is hit, here's what happens. One team argues the call. The manager comes out. The hitter and the manager converge on the ump. The up calls the other umps and they talk for 1-3 minutes. The call is either reversed or upheld. The losing side argues. Often, someone is tossed after 1-3 more minutes of arguing. The game continues.

There is no way a red flag-type review situation could take that much longer than it already does.

I did like how they gathered around and talked about the play. But I did not like how the play was overruled by someone who was not the closest to the play. To overturn something like that you need to be 100% sure.

Hey -- here's a way to make it so that you're 100 sure: watch a replay.

Steiny (NYC): Joe, do you think Barry Bonds will be on a major league baseball team before the end of the season?

Joe Morgan: I have no reason to believe he will, so I will say no. But it is too bad, because the guy hit 28 HRs last season and there are plenty of guys with lesser talent playing on teams right now. It is unfortunate that he has become the poster boy for the steroids era, when it is obvious that hundreds of other guys were doing it as well.

Huh. Good point. Why would it be that Bonds became the poster boy for steroids instead of, you know, like Paxton Crawford or something? Can't think of a reason off-hand. I mean, both he and Paxton Crawford used illegal performance-enhancing drugs. Both Bonds and Paxton Crawford broke the all-time HR record for a season. He and Paxton Crawford both also set the all-time career mark in HR. So that can't be it. And it was Paxton Crawford, actually, I think I remember, who set the all-time record for walks in a season, because he was the most famous and feared hitter in the history of baseball...

I don't know. There's gotta be a reason somewhere.

MJ (Edmonton): Joe, how do players regain their consistency coming back from an injury?

You know what's amazing? Joe has been baited one thousand times by people using "consistency" in the question, and he's never once indicated that this is strange or unusual.

Joe Morgan: The toughest thing about coming back is the first few days you are full of energy and running on pure adrenaline, which makes you play well; [...]

I am going to take this as evidence that Joe Morgan wholeheartedly supports the use of adrenaline-based PEDs.

Joe Morgan: That's all the time I have. We'll chat again next Tuesday.

I'm on it.

Labels: barry bonds, bill fremp, joe morgan, joechat, paxton crawford, steroids

The Great Fremp Controversy of 2008 is officially over. This is all Joe.

SprungOnSports (Long Island): What's your take on the starts of the two Florida teams? The Marlins are surprising everyone, and the Rays are playing with surprising consistency.

Joe Morgan: When you have players like Uggla and Hanley Ramirez, those are young players that other young players can look up to.

KT: Because...they're good? Or tall, or something?

Florida also has a quirky ballpark that the Marlins can use to their advantage. The Rays don't have that, but they have played so well so far that it hasn't mattered.

The Marlins' ballpark is currently 17th in runs scored. It is hard to imagine how a team might use this to its advantage, since .990 in runs means it's almost exactly average.

I think the Rays are a very good team that will continue to get better at a faster rate than the Marlins. The Marlins have proven they can put good teams together, even after losing so many good players each year.

The combination of weariness, confusion, and soul-stomping sadness I get when I read things like this means that I am truly listening to this site's namesake. Congratulations everyone.

Matt (Indy): Joe, is the AL still superior to the NL or has the senior circuit finally caught up in terms of talent?

Joe Morgan: Tough question, because you're looking at individuals. I still think the best overall teams are in the AL, when you look at teams like Boston, the Angels, and the Yankees.

Teams with better records than the Yankees in the NL: Florida, Philly, Mets, Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, Milwaukee, Houston, Pittsburgh, Arizona, L.A. [Edit: see comments for a "I'm dumb!" mea culpa here.]

Only Pitt and Milwaukee have worse RS/RA numbers. I know ARod and Posada have been hurt, but just because they're The Yankees doesn't mean they're one of the best teams in baseball right now. Boston hasn't exactly set the world on fire recently either.

They may be superior to the Mets, D-Backs, Cubs, and Cardinals. But overall, it's not a big difference.

There actually is a big difference, friend, between, say, the DBacks and the Yankees. The DBacks are way better. They have a +62 RS/RA over the Yankees. Hey! I have an idea! Look shit up before you answer these questions.

Justin (Baltimore): What is your take on the Orioles? They seem to be able to avoid the long losing streaks that have plagued them for years.

Joe Morgan: And therein lies their big problem; will they continue to avoid that long streak? That's always going to be in the back of their mind.

Baseball: 100% mental. 0% how good you are at baseball.

The first time they will start a poor streak, the media will remind them of that fact. I live in the Bay Area, and the writers would always remind the Giants of a "June Swoon".

If the media were more supportive of Barry Zito, he would be 10-0. All the Mariners need to do is read How to Win Friends and Influence People. If I think positively enough, I can talk to animals.

Andy (Chicago, IL): Should Josh Hamilton be at the top of the list of people getting consideration so far for AL MVP? He looks like he could be a triple crown threat and it would be pretty hard to say that another player was more valuable to their team at this point than Hamilton had been.

Joe Morgan: At this point, most of it is a matter of a couple of months. The Rangers aren't leading their division. The MVP has to come from a team that helps his team win.

Because the "V" stands for "VictoryMachine." The M stands for "MostWinsByA." The P stands for "Peace Out, Y'All!"

Jim (Franklin Lakes of the Garden State): Joe, HOF-elect Goose Gossage was reported on ESPN.Com today as saying he disagrees with Joba Chamberlain's display of emotion on the mound. Do you, too, come from Goose's school of thinking? Regards.

Joe Morgan: I think for myself!

Let's try to figure out what just happened.

I think Joe actually got offended, because he thought that Jim from Franklin Lakes of the Garden State was like accusing him of something. He was asked whether he subscribes to the same school of thought as Gossage, and he got very angry, very quickly, because he wants Jim of the Franklin Lakes of New Jersey Metro Area to understand that he, Joe, thinks for himself in all matters. By this logic, no one can every agree with anyone else on any matter, lest he be seen as a "follower." If I say that I think the world would be better off with less murdering, and you ask Joe if he agrees, Joe will say how dare you! That is, technically, yes, he thinks that the world would be better off with less murdering, but only because he had that same thought independent of my thought. This is: a weird waste of time.

The problem I have will all the emotion is that when some guys do certain things, we say they're showing up the other team, but when we deem it to be legitimate emotion, we don't think of it that way. At what point is it showing up a team? If they get mad when a player poses after a home run, why shouldn't a batter get mad when they point or yell after a strikeout.

Someone cogent, meaningful, salient.

How much emotion can you have after getting one or two batters out? I hate to see a pitcher strike a guy out and point or yell, or a batter pose after a home run. Everyone has to decide for themselves where that line is. But I think what Goose is talking about is that the emotion may not be the same every time out, unless it's a one-run game.

Twisted, opaque, gibberish.

Joe Morgan: But again, it's tough to define when you're crossing that line.

And a final flourish of insightless nothingness. Et voila!

Tony (Watertown, SD): Can the Twins keep up their quality play or will they cmoe back down to Earth?

Joe Morgan: anytime you get off to a good start, your confidence level rises. There are no trulyt great teams in the AL, so it's easier to move up the ladder.

No truly great teams?!?!/!!? What about the Yankees?!??!?21231478324872317823uieghf

The Twins got off to a good start, and their young players believe in themselves. The AL Central is wide open. So yes, they can stay in the hunt.

Twins: -3 run differential. Indians: +30. White Sox: +23. So, actually, no, the Twins cannot stay in the hunt, based on current information. Unless they hit and pitch better.

Eric (NYC): Hi Joe. Why has Sheffield been so incosistant this year for the Tigers? Does he need to spend more time playing in the outfield to get his swing back?

An excellent JoeBait. Sheffield and Consistency. Well done.

Joe Morgan: That's his feeling. I talked to him two weeks ago, and he said to me that he didn't feel part of the game as a DH. He said he felt more in the game when he was with the outfield. That was before he made this move. Now it's time for him to perform as he says he will.

Gary Sheffield: the only MLB player Morgan ever talks to or cares about or knows by name or follows or enjoys watching. Also, I like how it's not even a possibility that the reason he's not playing well is because he's 39 and if you hooked up a wind turbine to his bat you could power all of Detroit for a month off one of his swings.

Jeremy (Pittsburgh): How about those Buccos? I'm sure their little hot streak will end soon, but with Duke and Maholm giving them 4 solid starters it seems like there may be a little cause for hope. Does their new FO have what it takes to make them relevant again?

In case anyone is still wondering whether this is Bill Fremp and not Joe, here's the perfect test. The question is about the Pirates' new Front Office. If this were someone who watches and knows stuff about baseball, like Bill Fremp, he might say something about Neal Huntington, and how he worked for Mark Shapiro in Cleveland, and how maybe experience with that franchise -- which has been very well run for quite a while -- might help in rebuilding the once-proud Pirates, etc. etc. If it is Joe Morgan, and thus he knows absolutely nothing about the Pirates' new Front Office, he might say something like...

Joe Morgan: When you have good starters, you always have a chance. Starting pitching is the most important part of your pitching staff. If they can take you deep into a game, it allows your bullpen to settle. I agree with your assessment--they do have a chance over the long haul to improve as a team.

"...starting pitching is the most important part of your pitching staff." See? Joe.

Andrew (Long Island, NY): Joe- Not sure if you ever experienced this in your career, but how does it feel to be an accomplished veteran player on a team that is "rebuilding?" Do you embrace the chance to help influence the young players' future? Or, do you hope that the team moves you so you can have a chance to win immediately?

Joe Morgan: I was in that situation in Oakland my last year. They had a lot of potential in players like Rickey Henderson. I welcomed the opportunity to try to pass on what I had learned over the years. It just depends on your personality. I relished the opportunity because I had veterans teach me when I was a young player. But I can also understand how some players want to finish out their career in a winning situation. There's two sides to it. I enjoyed trying to help the young players, and I like to think I had an influence with Rickey Henderson. It was fun for me.

Listen. Joe Morgan was a wonderful baseball player. Amazing. Legendary. And I have no doubt that there is a lot he could have taught Rickey Henderson. But they played together in 1984. By 1984 Rickey Henderson had been in the top 10 in MVP voting three times, including coming in second in 1981. He has stolen 100+ bases three times, including his 130 year. I'm sure Rickey learned a thing or two from Joe, but let's not make it seem like a Clemens-Schilling type deal.

SprungOnSports (Long Island): Andruw Jones is batting .170 for the Dodgers with 5 RBI, isn't it time that Joe Torre gave him some time off and played a young guy like Andre Ethier everyday?

Joe Morgan: I say no. You know the upside for guys like Ethier.

Yes you do. .296/.359/.464/.823, which are his career #s. Jones is currently at .176/.283/.288/.571. Last year Unduruw rocked HotLanta to the tune of .222/.311/.413/.724 in 154 games. So, the upside for Ethier = far better than Jones has been since 2006.

Andruw Jones is struggling, but even last year he drove in 90 runs for the Braves and has a superstar's upside.

That is a gooftastic thing to say.

He may need some time off to get his mind right. When you give a guy a day off, it should be a day completely off--no practice, just relaxing and clearing your mind.

Okay. Well. Let's just call this what it is. They're playing him because their bonehead GM gave him $14.1m (including signing bonus) to play baseball this year, and he's the same bonehead GM who gave Juan Pierre $44m to bunt 120 times a year through 2032, and it's too embarrassing to have $23m+ of shitty outfielder sitting on the bench every day, so they have to play him, because at least he can throw.

Kurt (NYC): What are your overall thoughts on the Mets this season?

Joe Morgan: I've been asking myself the same question.

You've been asking yourself what your own thoughts are on the Mets this season?

They can't come up with any consistency.

I would like someone who knows how to do such things to go through every one of Joe's chats since he started chatting and find out how many times he has used the word "consistent" or any of its noun/verb/adj./adv. forms. My guess: the highest number calculable by machines.

They can look like the best or worst team in the majors. That has marked them this year and at the end of last year. Their players are not producing together. I don't know how good they can be, if they can be the team that I picked to win this year. They're an enigma.

Perfect Morganian anti-analysis. I dunno. Something's wrong. "Their players aren't producing together." I don't know how good they can be. Huh. Weird. Geez. Gosh. Heavens to murgatroid. (Shrugs.)

I will now answer this question without looking anything up.

I think the Mets are underperforming because Reyes, Beltran, and Delgado are underperforming, though I think Beltran's OPS is actually pretty good, like low-800's. They're being carried by Ryan Church, which is nice, but probably not the recipe for success that Minaya had in mind. Their starters are fine -- Santana is Santana, and will only get better as he adjusts to the NL parks. Pelfrey and Perez are serviceable-to-good, and Maine is having an excellent year so far. Wagner is still lights-out. So, with a solid pitching staff and a decent pen, you'd expect them to speed up their winning ways over the next few months, because you assume that those good hitters will anti-regress to their means -- if I remember correctly, PECOTA had them at like 92 wins with a +100 run differential.

Delgado might be done, but Reyes and Beltran will heat up. And they'll be fine.

Joe Morgan: I'll get a close-up look at them this Sunday against the Yankees.

I'm sure your analysis will be much more in-depth.

Joe Morgan: I think the fact that most teams have not been consistent

Unreal.

this year is going to be the thing we remember most about the first part of the season, at least until teams start to play better week in and week out.

Once again, I must ask: do you actually watch baseball?

Labels: bill fremp, joe morgan, joechat

Or JoeChat? You decide. (This is last week's -- I'm a week behind. Sorry.)

Jim (Chicago): Do you think the Dodgers' Matt Kemp is the "next Dave Winfield" like scouts have been saying? He may not get as much press as some of the other young hitters in the game but I think he may in fact be the best offensive prospect in baseball. Your thoughts?

Joe Morgan: He's got a lot of ability. If he continues to improve, that's the key. How far he'll go depends on how hard he works and how much he improves.

KT: I'm excited. I'm optimistic. "How far he'll go depends on how much he improves" is exactly the kind of trademark tautological drivel I've come to expect from Mr. Morgan. Let's see if it continues.

Brick (Brooklyn): Predictions on how the AL east will turn out this summer? Are the Yankees a third place team?

Joe Morgan: I felt Boston was the best team at the beginning of the season, and have done well despite some rough stretches. Toronto has good pitching, but they do not have the offense that Boston has. The Yankees, you can never discount them because they are the Yankees. I do think the Yankees may have overestimated their contributions from Hughes and Kennedy.

In the "Is this Fremp or Morgan?" debate, this is a push. It contains a little too much direct-answer-to-the-question to be purely Joe, but there's no actual prediction made, which reeks of Joe. I'm lost now.

Kevin (Memphis): Hey Joe. Thanks for taking my question. Can the Cardinals sustain their success, or will Pujols alone not be enough to carry them to the playoffs?

Joe Morgan: When you have an Albert Pujols, he will make everyone around him better. If you get off to a good start when you were supposed to be a bad team, it builds a lot of confidence. The Cubs look like the best team in that division, but they are not the best team. They can win the division, I think, but the Cubs have to be favored.

Wait a second...Pujols..."confidence"...insane contradiction within a single sentence...nonsensical conclusion...?

Holy crap you guys. Joe's back!

Ryan (NYC, NY): Do you think the Tigers can put their start behind them and have a "successful" season? Joe Morgan: I think they can definitely put the poor start behind them. Inconsistency is their problem right now.

Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe!

Even though he's lost a few games, they have to feel good that Verlander is looking good now, but I heard Willis had a setback in his recovery.

Uh oh. Too many specific facts and actual news. Fremp?

I do believe they will have a successful season. Everyone is bunched up there in that division. It's a long season and Detroit will definitely have a chance.

... I'm lost again.

Derek (St. Louis): Hi Joe. I watched the piece you did with Pujols Sunday night. When talking to today's hitters about their approach to the game, what similarities/differences do you find when compared to when you were playing?

Joe Morgan: Pujols is more similar in his approach and the way he talks about the game. The difference is the parks being smaller, the ball is livelier, and the pitching is not as consistent.

You know what's never talked about? In all of the "it was tougher in our day" griping you hear, it never gets mentioned that in the old days starters not only threw their arms off with like 500+ innings a year, but also: no split-finger FB. That pitch wasn't around when Joe played (or, it was when Bruce Sutter started throwing it, but let's say it wasn't around like pre-1976 or something). That's a huge weapon for pitchers, and it didn't exist. People should talk about that more, on their metacritical sports blogs and such.

There are more guys trying to elevate the ball, and more guys trying to dive into the plate as opposed to staying straight away. The approach that we had is not better than the approach today's players have. Some of the parks were bigger, and some were gigantic like the Astrodome. Albert Pujols' approach is simply attacking the ball and doing what he does best. He knows exactly what he's doing every time he steps in the batter's box.

I fell asleep like four separate times during this answer. Can someone just tell me whether it was Joe or Fremp?

Steven (Phx, AZ): How will Scott Kazmir do the rest of this year?

Joe Morgan: It depends on whether he feels like he's healthy.

Not whether he's actually healthy, mind you. Whether he feels like he's healthy.

If you don't feel like you're healthy, he may hold back at times. The first thing to answer is whether he feels 100 percent. That will be the tell-tale sign.

I don't know...that doesn't seem like the best way to figure out if he's going to pitch well...

He'll pitch well if he's actually healthy.

There it is.

Rory(Sacramento): How long until Robinson Cano breaks this slump? I know he will, but it's killing me waiting around for it.

Joe Morgan: I am shocked he's been in it this long, because he's such a fine hitter. Two years ago he came close to winning a batting championship. I'm shocked it's taken this long. But when he comes out, I think he'll hit well--just not up to .340.

I'm only leaving this in because I want to make a prediction: when Gary Sheffield retires, RoCa will be the hitter Joe talks about the most. Every single time his name gets brought up, Joe talks about how he, Joe, predicted that someday he, Cano, would win a batting title, and then he, Cano, almost did. This is the kind of happenstantial fact that can keep Joe talking about a player for 30 years.

"RoCa" is in honor of when the YES guys tried to get people to call Soriano "AlSo," and nobody bit.

Zach Rastall (Marinette, WI): Hi Joe you're awesome. What should the Brew Crew do about there horredous relief pitching?

Joe Morgan: There's not much they can do. They invested a lot of money in Eric Gagne, and if he doesn't work his way out of his problems, it will be a disaster. It hough they should have re-signed Cordero, but they lost him to Cincinnati. They'll have to live with that decision. Very few general managers will admit their mistakes. Gagne can turn it around, but who knows?

Here's the thing, man:

No, actually, here's the things:

They didn't invest a lot of money in Gagne, relatively speaking. It's one year, $10m. Now that's obviously not cheap, especially for an homme who suces as mal as he does, but they can cut him if they want to and next year, it's back to the drawing board (in a good way). Frankie Cordero, on the other hand, got $46m for four years from the dumbass Reds. He is 33 years old as of last Sunday, and he has walked 11 guys in 15 IP this year. The Reds are going to be paying this guy $10.5m when he is 36 and on the shelf with his eleventh TJ surgery. (Yeah -- eleventh. A lot happens to Cordero in the next few years.) And you think the Brewers should have signed him? And you think they're having a hard time living with the decision not to?

Gagne stinks, and he's not their closer anymore. They took a risk on a short-term contract and it didn't pay off. At least it's not a hamstringingly bad 4 year deal for a mediocre 33 year-old.

Logan (Reno, Nevada): I am heading back home to Houston for the summer...I know the astros are light on starting pitching, but if their offense keeps them around 500 do you think they might make a move for a decent SP? I would sure like to see a contender at minute maid this summer.

Joe Morgan: That's always a possibility. Make no mistake, people seem to underestimate the impact of Miguel Tejada.

Fremp is out. I'm calling it. This is all Joe. Q.: The Astros are light on starting pitching. If their offense keeps them at .500, do you think they will make a move for a starting pitcher? A.: Maybe. People underestimate Miguel Tejada.

They had a group of laid-back and quiet players, but Tejada is an energy guy, who helps them from that standpoint.

You know how else he helps them, fonebone? By hitting .340/.375/.532. (Though he's only walked 8 times in like 135 AB, so expect those numbers to go down, and soon...)

They have pitchers who are capable of winning, but add another pitcher or two and they have a much better shot.

Oh, Joe. I've missed you, buddy. Can you name one Astros starting pitcher? No. No, I don't think you can.

Charlotte: Joe: You were such a great hitter. What would you do to help Andruw Jones get back on track. He's just lost up there. And I can't believe he's really this bad.

Joe Morgan: I can't either. I can't believe he's having the problems he's having. I have not seen him play this year, as we haven't done a Dodgers' game and he's never int the highlights, so I couldn't give him any specific advice, but I am shocked at how long this slump has extended.

I am officially a broken record, but: Joe Morgan, the #1 analyst on the #1 baseball network in America -- multiple-time Emmy Award Winner -- has not seen a fucking DODGER GAME this year? Not one Dodger game?

I have a full-time job, and a decently complicated life, and a young child. There is not a single team in the majors I haven't watched play this year. I have watched at least one game of every major league team. You know why? I like baseball. Like checking out a Reds-Cubs game on a sleepy Saturday in late April. Like flipping over to a Giants game and imagine what it must be like to be Brian Sabean watching Barry Zito serving 80 MPH cheese to the NL. I like baseball, so I watch baseball. I just...I don't know how saying things like this doesn't get you fired. I really don't.

Brian (Philly): I know Chase Utley is getting all the MVP love in Philly, but what about Pat Burrell? The guy is tearing it up at the plate!

Joe Morgan: It's great to see him get some love somewhere, because everybody's been down on him. He could be a kind of a late bloomer. [...]

Pat Burrell, 2002 (age 25, 3rd year in the majors): .282/.376/.544. 37 HR, 116 RBI.

Mark (Bangor, PA): Hey Joe, have you picked out anything mechically wrong with Hafner's swing or has he lost his eye or bat speed?

Joe Morgan: I've only done the one Indians game early in the year, where it was cold and not conducive to hitting. [...]

And since I only watch games I am actually announcing, and thus only see one game a week, everyone with a specific question about a specific player that happens not to play for one of the eight teams I have covered so far can go fuck themselves.

Sincerely,

the #1 Booth Analyst on the #1 Most Important Weekly Baseball Broadcast on the WorldWide Leader in Sports,

Joe Morgan

Joe Morgan: I think that it'll be a very interesting summer, because there are teams in the race that we didn't expect to be playing well. Teams like the Diamondbacks have shown what they are made of.

That's it. That's how it ends.

Oh well. At least he's back. Fremp, we hardly knew ye.

Labels: bill fremp, joe morgan, joechat

An interesting twist in the ongoing saga of imaginary ESPN intern Bill Fremp. This week's JoeChat is significantly more Joe-like than last week's. Is Joe actually back at the keyboard? Or is Fremp adapting...changing...learning?

Let's take what I like to call a "look-see" (®©™ Fremulon, LLC, all rights reserved; the term "look-see" may not be used without written permission of Fremulon, LLC or its partners) and reserve our conclusions for the end...

JW (NH): Joe - man what a waste of $126M! Can Zito find his curveball working in the bullpen or is it harder to get consistent when you don't go every fifth day? Joe Morgan: Well every fifth day will not make you consistent.

Let me just pause here to say that one of the ways that we knew (and by "knew," I mean "wildly claimed") it wasn't Joe last week was: there was nary a "consistent" to be found. Count how many there are this week.

But the Giants do have to be worried about their investment. But many people saw this coming. (...)

Lot's of "but"s this week, already, too. Is this really Joe? Or an increasingly clever imposter?

Mike (Clearwater, FL): Hi Joe - Are the Rays for real? Can they really manage to stay near the top of the standings?

Joe Morgan: To say they can do it for the whole year is a bit hard to tell right now. So far they are doing eveyrthing right. But I feel like that ballpark will hurt them in the end, becasue it is so hard to be consistent there, where teams think they can score runs. You need a big home field advantage, and I do not think they have it. A lot of the fans, when they play the Yankees, for example, are New York fans. I think the mixture of fans there does not give them much of a home field advantage, which they need. But they do have talent and are playing very well together right now.

But...but...consistent...Yankees...nonsense. This smells like Joe. And yet, I can't quite bring myself to believe...

SprungOnSports (Long Island): You saw the Tigers and Angels last Sunday, what's your take on those two AL clubs who have not been playing to their potential as of late?

Joe Morgan: The Angels are playing up to their potential when you consider they have had injuries to their top two starting pitchers. The Tigers are just incosistent.

This is Fremp. I promise you. He's gotten better at his craft, but another "consistent," and a typo to boot? Gilding the lilly. Too perfect. Like the too-perfect English that Axis spies spoke when impersonating British businessmen.

They scored a lot of runs last week and are not scoring this week. The week before I saw them, they were on a hot streak. But it's easy to look good against Texas before you play the Angels. But I do think Detroit will play better as the season continues. And I thought Verlander played better and used his three pitches well. Again, as I have said before, it comes down to how Sheffield plays. He is their run producer and the difference maker. When he hits well, they'll do well.

More "but"s, and a Sheffield reference. I'm sorry. This is too stupid even for Joe. Not even Joe would call Gary Sheffield (.159/.321/.254) the "run producer" or "difference maker" on a team with Cabrera, Guillen, Ordonez, and Granderson. This is not Joe. This is the Wyatt Gwyon of Joe Morgan impersonators.

Kevin (STL): The Mets offense is not very consistent

Well done, Kevin.

right now....How much of that is due to Reyes struggles?

Joe Morgan: For some reason everyone wants to blame Reyes for everything that happens with the Mets. He is not even one of the top payed players on the team, and yet everything gets blamed on him, including last year's collapse.

...Well, he did hit .205/.279/.333 in September, unlike his buddy David Wright, who got blamed for the collapse way more (to the tune of: he lost the MVP because of it) despite the fact that Wright hit .352/.432/.602 with 6 HR in September. And I'm not sure what his salary has to do with anything, when you're just talking about on-field performance. This is such a weird response, I want to believe Fremp just took a break here and the real Joe sidled up to the keyboard for a moment...

They have Delgado, Beltran and Wright also playing for them. Now it does not help them that he has not been playing well at the top of the order. But there are other guys on this team besides Reyes, and the Mets need their veterans to step up.

Delgado may be done, but Beltran isn't playing that badly, and Wright has a .980 OPS this year. They do need Reyes to play way better. I think we can all agree on that. Can't we....Fremp?!

Dave (Chicago): Do you think Sheffield can make it back from his shoulder problems or is this the end of the line?

Joe Morgan: That is a big question with a veteran player. I had this conversation about Frank Thomas last year, when he got off to a slow start, but look what he ended up doing last year. When you are a young guy and this happens, you're in a slump, but when you are a vet it becomes an "end of the line" issue, and that's just the nature of the game. But Gary told me he is getting closer. We'll just have to see.

When did Gary Sheffield talk to Bill Fremp? I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Tom (NY): Despite all the problems in Yankee-land, we are only 1 game out of first...surprised?

Joe Morgan: No I am not surprised; Boston has struggled of late and have kept the Yankees in it. You need to have Kennedy and Hughes win some game for you though. But looking at their potential they are capable of doing that. But I am not too surprised.

Now this...this seems like Joe. Rambling, semi-coherent sentence fragments. A completely inappropriate semi-colon after the first sentence. Ends exactly the same as it begins, rendering the middle meaningless. I'm going to be optimistic and say that right before this answer, Joe decided he'd had enough of Bill Fremp (Edgewood, KY) and fired him. Got back in the saddle. Pulled a Pat Riley and took day-to-day control of the team. Time will tell.

Joe Morgan: That's all the time I have! Talk to you next week!

Looking forward to it. (ominously) Whoever you are.

Labels: bill fremp, gary sheffield, joe morgan, joechat, wyatt gwyon

This morning on my way to work, I was listening to the Mike Tirico radio show. Joe Morgan was spouting his usual nonsense about how the Yankees are a "confusing team," and how he's not sure how they're going to win games.

Then some crazy shit happened.

"They're not -- and I won't say manufacturing -- but producing runs."

I nearly drove my imaginary car through the walls of my mother's basement!

He won't say "manufacturing?" He won't say "manufacturing runs?"

Until this morning, "manufacturing" was one of Joe Morgan's favorite things to say. His favorite soccer team was Manchester United, just so he could get half a boner by saying "Man U" repeatedly. If Joe Morgan were an eskimo, et cetera et cetera.

"I won't say manufacturing." It's troubling, really. Has someone talked some sense into him? Has someone talked some different nonsense in to him? Is Bill Fremp doing a perfect Joe Morgan impression in audio-only interviews?

Aaand, this just in: Joe Morgan is in fact an eskimo!

Labels: bill fremp, joe morgan, manufacturing runs, mother's basement

I have invented a name for the ESPN intern whose job it is to type in/clean up/invent Joe's answers to these chats. It's Bill Fremp. He's 22, he went to Conn College, but he's originally from Edgewood KY and is a diehard Reds fan, which is why he's covering for Joe by judiciously editing Joe's comments and stream-of-(lack of)-consciousness ramblings, and entering semi-coherent versions of same into the record. Let's see how Bill does today.

Joe Morgan: I may be the only one that feels this way, but I still believe the weather has had an adverse affect on some of th ebest hitters in the game.

Nicely-placed typo, Bill. You can't fool me. Joe's not typing this.

In places like Detroit and Boston, hitters are struggling. But you have to give credit to the guys who have persevered and fought through the cold weather. But as it warms up, there will be more offense coming from some of the best hitters in the game.

You've studied old chats, haven't you, Billy m'boy? You remember that sometimes Joe says "but" at the beginning of every sentence. You're good, I'll give you that. You're very good.

Randy(Knoxville,TN): Good morning Joe!! My question for you is about Alfonso Soriano...what are your thoughts on him as the lead-off man for the Cub offense? While he can provide instant offense with the long ball, he also strikes out a bunch and doesnt draw many walks. Last year he struck out 99 more times than he drew a walk(130 K's vs 31 BB). I love him as a hitter, but not at the top. What do you think?Thanks, Joe.

Joe Morgan: I have never felt like he should be a leadoff hitter, but both Torre and Piniella used him there because he felt more comfortable. But if I'm paying a guy millions of dollars, I'm going to hit him where he can serve the team the best. His on-base percentage is not where a good leadoff hitter's should be at.

Oh, Billy. Billy Billy Billy. You've already screwed up. The real Joe would have talked about how Soriano can steal bases and make things happen. The real Joe would never admit that there is such a thing as "on-base percentage," because the real Joe thinks "on-base percentage" is a made-up stat relating to Quidditch matches. The real Joe could not recall off-hand two teams Soriano has played for, much less their managers. This is far too good an answer. Ease off.

John (Toledo, OH): The Royals got back to back complete games from Bannister and Greinke, if they keep pitching well, are the Royals a .500 team? Are things finally turning around?

Joe Morgan: Things are turning around. They are getting better players there, and therefore they will play better. .500 is definitely a possibility for the Royals this year.

Dude. The first two sentences are reasonable facsimiles of what I'm sure Joe said. But. I know you want to make Joe look good, because your Pa told you lots of great stories of watching him hit when he, your Pa, was growing up in Edgewood KY and he'd skip school to go to Reds' games and watch Joe hit. But when you read Joe this question, and he said:

"Well I haven't really seen the Royals play enough to know. But they have been bad for a long time and maybe now they'll be good. It will all start with their pitching. You can't win without pitching. But there aren't any great teams out there, so maybe they have a chance. But I haven't seen them play enough to know if they can win on a consistent basis."

you should've just typed that. Don't have him make an actual prediction that makes it seem in any way that he has any idea what kind of season the Royals will have.

I'm going to suggest you go ahead and let Joe answer the next one, to remind yourself of his characteristic tone and style.

Jeff (Columbus, OH): Joe, what effect do losses like the ones the Indians have suffered against the Angels and Red Sox have on the team? As a manager, can you keep sending a closer out there that no one (other than yourself apparently) has faith in without damaging the team? Thanks

Joe Morgan: Their pitching has not been up to par. Teams like the A's were expected to be last in the west, but they're overachieving right now. The Indians and Tigers are underachieving, so you have to keep things in perspective.

There we go. Doesn't answer the question, makes a weird comment about the A's overachieving (and "teams like the A's [being] expected to be last in the west," which = ???), then drags the Tigers into it, and never mentions the issue of Borowski at all. There's your template, Bill.

Michael (Orlando, Florida): Hey Joe I love listening to you call games. What do you think we can expect from the Atlanta Braves this year. Do you think that we just dont have enough starting pitching. We know we will score runs. I think they already have seven 1 run losses this season.

For this answer, I'm going to put this symbol:

!!!

when I think Joe actually said or typed something, and this symbol:

???

when I think it was Bill Fremp of Edgewood, KY. The symbols will follow the text in question.

Joe Morgan: I'm actually surprised at the Braves. (!!!) I thought they would sneak up on the Mets and Phillies, and they still may. (!!!) They are a team you have to contend with. (!!!) Their defense is a little suspect overall, (???) although I must say I love Yunel Escobar (????????) as a shortstop. Their starting pitching needs to be better, (!!!) as it puts pressure on a mediocre bullpen. (???) Starting pitching is still the key to a pitching staff, (!!!) because they get you deep into the games so you can set up your rotation (!!!) of relievers (!!!!!!!!) to your advantage. (!!!!!!!!!!) You need innings from your starting pitching. (!!!)

All in all, I guess Joe said most of that. But there's no way he knows that Yunel Escobar is their SS, or that he's good, or how to spell his name.

Joe (Toronto): Last week you said Hanley Ramirez was the most productive player in the league. He doesn't lead in any major statistical categories, so why do you think that?

This is what we in the business of baiting Joe Morgan call: JoeBaiting. It's a reference to the last JoeChat, wherein Bill Fremp totally gave away that someone else was helping Joe with these chats when he declared that H-Ram was the best offensive player in the NL last year, and insinuated (in so many words, if you read between the lines) that he was using something like VORP to make such a decision. Thus, my buddy Joe here is trying to dig a little, to maybe find out whether Joe indeed was shown a VORP chart or something. Let's see what happens. It's exciting, isn't it, America?

America: (in unison) No.

Joe Morgan: If you consider everything---power, speed, defense, batting average, on-base percentage, RBIs, runs scored--then he comes out on top.

So far, so bad, for VORPies like me. Seems like Joe is using "traditional" stats. But wait...

Look at it from that perspective. Plus, he plays the toughest position on the field.

Could this be a coded message from Bill Fremp, of Edgewood, KY? Obviously, VORP is somewhat dependent on a player's position, as it is easier to replace a LF's production than a SS's. I think there's a chance Bill is trying to send us a message, that he is out there, somewhere, typing away. I'm here, he's saying. I'm at the keyboard. I can't speak out loud. He'll hear me. Help me.

SprungOnSports (Long Island): With Randy Johnson putting out a good start, and Webb and Haren making a great 1-2 how much do you like the Diamondbacks right now?

Joe Morgan: I was already a big fan of the D-backs before Johnson's outing, but you have to wait to see how he bounces back from this outing. But Johnson will not win or lose the division for them--they won it last year without him, and their young players are getting better. I like them even if Johnson doesn't pitch well. They were outscored by their opponents last year--that will not happen again this year. Justin Upton looks like the next Albert Pujols.

Joe Morgan citing RS/RA? No way. Joe knowing who Justin Upton is, and comparing him to anyone but Gary Sheffield? Iffy.

Joe Morgan: Thanks for your questions, and I'll see you next week at 10:30!

Joe knowing when his next chat is, down to the minute? Forget it.

I'm on to you, Fremp.

Labels: bill fremp, joe morgan, joechat